Well, we are officially moving to Korea in June, which is only 3 months after our baby is due, so I'm stressing out quite a bit right now. Not only are we moving to a whole different country, but we also have to do that with a brand new baby. I am trying my hardest to be positive and think about all the good things the move will bring, but sometimes it's really hard. I mean, this little man is coming in 3 months and the only thing I've bought for him is a blanket, and we all know that one blanket is NOT enough for a newborn. We need to buy a crib, changing table, a double stroller, and all kinds of clothes. But the reason we haven't bought anything yet is that we have no idea what our housing situation will be over there. Will we even be able to get a 3 bedroom place? What if there isn't enough room for two cribs? Then what? Evie is in no way ready for a toddler bed, so we can't use her crib cause she needs it, and I am freaking out. At first my thought was to not set up his room at all, ya know? I would get all of the stuff and then just move it all with us and set up his nursery in Korea, but now I'm not sure I want to do that because I have no clue if we will even have a nursery there, plus I'm not sure I want him in our room for 3 months. I would much rather have him in his own crib, in his own room, and get used to all that before we move, but then again, it is more convenient to have your newborn in your room since they wake up so much. I'm conflicted.
I'm nervous about going to a country that has a line drawn down the middle and is actively at war with itself all the time. Obviously we won't be seeing any of that cause my husband is a veterinarian, but it is still always present. Apparently there are times of day that you shouldn't be out at all. What?
I'm nervous about the kind of food we will be eating. I know that's ridiculous, but I'm not a huge fan of seafood or sushi and that is a lot of what their diet consists of. Korea is basically a tiny piece of land jutting out into the ocean, so they understandably eat a lot of seafood, but pretty much the only things I can stand are tilapia and salmon. Dan loves seafood and sushi though, so he will be just fine. We were talking about this the other night and I couldn't help but think how much I am going to miss Mexican food. I love love love burritos. They are probably my favorite food ever, so if I have to go 2 years without a burrito, I might die. (a little dramatic, I know)
I'm nervous about where in Korea we will be. They still haven't told us, and where we are determines everything about how we will live. If we get stationed near Seoul, chances are we will have a decent housing situation and a large army base to keep us feeling comfortable, but if not, who knows? Odds are, our housing will be tiny, as well as our base, and everyday comforts that I am used to right now will be hard to come by; namely wal-mart or a store like it. We may have to stalk up on clothes for both kids so that we won't have to worry about trying to find them new clothes while we are there, because I've heard that is a nightmare.
But, mostly I'm nervous about being so far away. I feel like I'm far away from everyone right now, but there is always some comfort in knowing that I can jump on a plane and be home in a couple of hours. This is completely different. I don't know what Dan's job will be like or what his leave will be like, so I'm nervous I won't see my family again while I'm there. Here, also, I'm probably being a bit too dramatic, but I'm pregnant, so I get a pass.
What am I supposed to do with a toddler and a newborn on a transcontinental flight? And, once I'm there, am I a strong enough person to be able to raise 2 kids, without any family around, in a foreign country? I'm not sure I am. This is the exact reason I never wanted to marry a military man, but just my luck, I marry a veterinarian who joined the military. Not fair, Dan!
In a lot of ways I am lucky, though. I get the opportunity to see the world and to have exciting experiences that most people never will. I have an amazing husband who serves his country and takes care of his family one hundred percent of the time. I just needed to get all of this out of my head because I think I may explode from all the nervous worrying I'm doing. I can do hard things. Right?