these are my confessions

1. I am totally obsessed with Mr. Darcy, and Pride and Prejudice as a whole, but mostly Mr. Darcy. I have been in love with him for as long as I can remember. Yes, he is a completely fictional character and I totally understand that. Don't be alarmed, I'm not one of those crazy nut jobs, I promise. But, I do read Pride and Prejudice every year, I own both the 8 hour BBC and new 2009 version of the movie, and I buy and read any book that has anything to do with the after-the-wedding Lizzy and Darcy story. Yeah, it's embarrassing. I own two books dedicated to Darcy's point of view for the story of Pride and Prejudice, and then like... 4? books dedicated to telling the "rest of the story". It's a problem and I understand it, but come on. Who doesn't have a crush on a fictional character right? At least it isn't Edward Cullen or Jacob Black (no offense to anyone out there).

2. I own entirely too many dresses. I realized this fact this morning when I was trying to decide what to wear and noticed that my dresses take up more room in my closet than my shirts. I am obsessed. I cannot help myself! If I see a dress I like, I just have to get it. Some women are this way with shoes or something else, and I am like this with dresses. What can I say? I look good. ;)

3. I am completely hopeless when it comes to medicine. Let me explain: half a Benadryl will knock me out cold for a whole day. NyQuil will keep me "drunk" and drowsy for at least 12 hours. Non-drowsy cold medicine will knock me out for a couple hours at least. See what I mean? Hopeless. I took HALF a Benadryl last night cause I had allergies so bad and then I slept for 10 hours. Without moving. Or waking up at all. I am now sitting here, barely awake, and totally groggy. It's a little sad

4. I wish I could be Tina Fey. Or, at the very least, meet her. She is a powerful, strong, successful, and hilarious woman and I really look up to her. Amazing.

5. My favorite new thing lately is buying cute tanks (cause that's all they're selling now) and coupling them with cute little half jacket things. Who says garments have to cramp your summer style?

6. I am such a nervous person that it could be considered a handicap. I could probably get a parking sticker out of it.

7. I would rather spend all day watching movies with Dan than do anything else on the planet

8. I want to go to New Zealand so badly that I ache for it. Seriously.

9. I am more than a little obsessed with Sara Lee's Classic Honey Wheat Bread. Oh wow. I eat slice after slice with nothing on it for a snack. Love! In fact, I'm eating some right now. Yum.

10. I am secretly enjoying being a trophy wife and taking care of Dan while he is so busy. This will probably fade after a while and it helps that I do have a semi-regular, sort-of, kind-of job that I get paid for. But, for all intense and purposes, I am a trophy wife. It's the life. :)

exciting and boring

Exciting:

My old boss from my job that I just had to give up because I graduated, emailed me and said that I could have my job back through the summer! Yay! So, I have job now and the world rejoiced.

Even More Exciting:

Dan's hellish rotation is over on Friday!! His next rotation is Dermatology, or they like to call Derma-cation, so there is definitely a huge light at the end of the tunnel. Yay!

Boring:

I only worked four hours today, so I have still had PLENTY of time to do nothing. :) I am still watching all the seasons of How I Met Your Mother... again... for a lack of anything better to do. And, I realized that sometimes Lily and Marshall's relationship reminds me of Dan and I's sometimes. I kind of like it. We are so comfortable around each other and have such a similar sense of humor that it is just a lot of fun.

And, that is my life as of late. Pretty great right?

Blue French Horn

Today I was planning on..
-Going running in the morning
-Lounging all day
-Running some errands for Dan

So far today I have...
-slept in for a long time
-decided not to go running after all
-went to Target and spent waaaaaay too much money
-got some Panera. Yum.
-been lounging on the couch, watching How I Met Your Mother

Pretty good day so far right? I got all dressed up too (skirt and all) for no particular reason except that I was feeling really gross and ugly lately. I want to start running because my goal for this summer is now to lose weight. Yay, I have a goal! So, I am sitting on the couch watching a really funny show and looking real good if I do say so myself. However, I have no where else to be today. Tragic really.

Whine

I just want to vent and whine a little bit right now, so if you don't read this I won't be offended.

Here's the thing though. I miss Dan. All the time. It feels like all I do everyday, all day, is miss him and worry about him. I worry about whether he's drinking enough water (he got dehydrated after the second day), if he knows everything he needs to, whether his professors are targeting him today, and whether or not he's going to pass this rotation. Mostly I am worrying about what will happen if he doesn't pass. What does that mean for him? For us? And, I never see him. He leaves before I wake up and gets home somewhere between 5pm and 9pm usually. But, even when he is home all he is doing is studying. I am so not complaining about him or how little time he is spending with me because I know it's not his fault and if he could, he would spend tons of time with me. But that's the thing, he can't. The Vet school is so over-demanding that they expect you to go into a rotation already knowing all the things they are supposed to be teaching you in that rotation. It's ludicrous. The amount of stress of these poor students are under is outrageous. Did you know that the Vet School employs a therapist specifically for students because of how many breakdowns there are, especially in 4th year? No joke. So, Dan is under all this pressure and stress and there is nothing I can do to help. It is incredibly frustrating. So, not only do I never see my husband or get to spend any time with him ever, but there is also nothing I can do to help. Obviously, I am trying to be as supportive as possible so I never tell him how much I miss him and wish he was around and how frustrated I am that I can't do anything, but instead I let him vent to me, tell him it's going to be great, make him eat food, and fix his lunches. Am I doing enough? I hate knowing that I am sitting at home with nothing to do, completely at my leisure, while he is at the Vet School quite possibly doing something that determines whether he passes or fails. If he doesn't pass this rotation, he would still go on to the next one, but he would have to retake it. So, that begs the question of what the Army would do if he didn't pass. Ridiculous right? These are all the things that I am CONSTANTLY worrying about. I think I'm losing hair. I know how smart and motivated Dan is though and that gives me some peace of mind. He is the kindest, smartest, and hardest working man I have ever met so I have my fingers crossed (and praying a lot) for him. Sorry if you're still reading this. I needed to get some of this out of my head so it doesn't come out in other ways. :/

Sincerely,
The biggest baby/whiner ever

Useless

On Saturday I graduated from college. Yay! It seemed like the last week dragged on and on. My finals were SO hard, so I am glad that is over and I couldn't be more excited to be done with school. Except:

-When I was in school I had goals and always something to be accomplished
-When I was in school I had a job
-When I was in school I had a reason to wake up in the morning

But, besides all this, it is exciting to be moving on to another phase in my life. I am going to miss this. So pretty.


About graduation:
My parents came up the night before and spent the night with us in our little apartment because my graduation was at 8:30 in the morning. Yeah, that was awful. I couldn't even count how many people showed up and were still drunk. Welcome to the real world folks! The ceremony itself was nice, but SOOO long! I just happened to be graduating from the largest college on campus, Arts and Sciences, so it took about 3 hours give or take. At about 11am I just couldn't take it anymore. I was starving and exhausted, so I simply got up and left. That's how I role. I was on the end of the row, the exit was just to my right, and I had already walked and received my diploma holder so I saw no reason to stay any longer and suffer through it. So, we went and ate lunch, came back to the apartment, took a nap, and then went to see a movie. All in all, it was a fantastic day. I am so happy that my parents and my wonderful husband were able to be there because it made it all that more special for me.

Recently:
Dan just started his clinical rotations and I am pretty sure it's going to kill him. His first rotation is Anesthesiology, which is the hardest one, so he barely sleeps and when he does sleep he's afraid he's going to be paged back in, so he doesn't sleep well. He leaves here about 6am and doesn't get home usually until about 8pm, so I never see him. Poor guy. :( But, doesn't he look handsome?


I haven't been doing a whole lot. I have been trying to schedule one thing to do a day so that I feel like I am accomplishing something and am not completely useless. Yesterday I payed all our bills and mailed them, tried and failed to order new contacts, made a payment on my AE credit card, and went shopping with my friend Jessica. The shopping part was so much fun, but I wish I hadn't found so many things I liked. Oh well, at least I have three cute new shirts. After that, I came home and cleaned our bedroom and spent the rest of the day watching LOST. I'm pathetic, it's okay. I admit it. Today I don't really have anything to do, so that is probably why I am rambling so much on here. I am still looking for a job, but not as actively as I was before. I think it'll be nice to be free for a little while because there is quite a bit of traveling I was looking forward to doing this summer. So, I will be lazy just a little bit longer. BUT, I have come up with a work out schedule for myself so I don't blow up like a balloon, so there's that I guess. Oh, how glorious life is when you have no obligations. :)

Bored

So, today I have one of my last finals ever. I should be nervous because it's an essay final in an upper-level English class and will probably be really hard, but I am complacent. I haven't really done much all week, which is giving me a taste of what my next year is probably going to be like. Yikes. To combat this total boredom, I have been volunteering to babysit for everyone. Twice already this week. haha.

In other news, my hair is finally getting long! Yay! It's a little past my shoulders and should actually look okay with a graduation cap on. Well okay, as good as a graduation cap can look. Here's hoping it keeps growing fast! I want long hair!

the last days

April 20th was my Mom's birthday, so Dan and I went home last weekend to spend some time with her. Can I just tell you all how much I love my mom? She is seriously my hero. I can't even count all the times that she has helped and uplifted me when I needed it. She hugs me when I am sad, straightens me out when I am being ridiculous, and hangs out with me when I need a friend. I honestly feel comfortable saying that she is my best friend. On Saturday we went shopping, lunch, more shopping, and then I helped her make dinner. It was perfect. We spent the whole day together just talking and spending some quality time and I think it was exactly what she needed. Man, I seriously love that woman. I hope to be able to be at least half the woman she is.

Who couldn't love this face?


this week is my last week of classes. Yay!! I just took one final today, so now I have class all week, a final on Friday, and then 4 finals next week and I'm done. This may sound like a lot, and it is, but I couldn't be more excited! However, I am going to be insanely busy for the next two weeks and will probably not be able to update much for a while. I am almost a graduate. Does anyone wanna give me a job? I'm not too proud to beg.

Dan and I are getting released from our calling in the primary. :( We are both extremely sad about it. We love these little guys. It breaks my heart to have to leave them. Oh well. Hopefully I have as much fun in my next calling.

How cute are they? Who wouldn't LOVE this calling?